Menopause: Embracing Change and Discovering Wholeness
Menopause stands as a profound milestone in a woman’s life, signifying the culmination of her reproductive years. This transformative phase evokes a spectrum of emotions, often echoing the experiences of our mothers. However, it’s crucial to recognize that our individual journeys during this change of life may differ from generations past, both biologically and emotionally. Have you contemplated it not merely as the termination of a phase, but as the inception of a dynamic unveiling of a more enriched, authentic self? What do you believe about menopause?
One Woman’s Experience: A Glimpse into the Past
In 1959, my mother embarked on a journey through early menopause, a condition known as premature ovarian insufficiency (POI). At just 32 years old, my mother faced a bewildering period of emotional turmoil. Back then, a basic understanding of women’s unique physiology was limited. It was a time when women’s experiences were often overlooked in medical trials, leaving many women without the support they needed. My mother’s story is a testament to the importance of finding the right doctor who could address her needs with compassion and expertise.
One doctor, after examining her, asked her to wait in the reception area while he consulted with my father. The doctor was requesting my father’s signature to have my mother institutionalized so he could explore experimental treatments. I wonder what experimental treatments he had in mind. During the 1940s and 1950s electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) was the most widely used treatment for depression and mood disorders.
Fortunately, my parents found a doctor who gave my mother the POI diagnosis, allowing her to receive the treatment she needed, which included boosting her estrogen levels. The mood shifts my mother experienced through this harrowing time never reappeared. I wonder how many women haven’t been as fortunate as my mother—looking for answers to a daunting health issue from doctors who lacked a basic understanding about the distinct needs of a woman’s body, specifically around menopause.
Having access to up-to-date medical research on women’s health might be something we take for granted today, but in 1950s America there was very little research done that included women in medical trials. It wouldn’t be until 1991 when the federal government established the Women’s Health Initiative which would be the first comprehensive effort to clinically study health issues for women.
My mother’s journey highlights the importance of understanding women’s unique needs during menopause, a perspective that is still evolving today.
Contributing to the Whole Woman: A Holistic Approach to Menopause
As our understanding of women’s health has progressed, a more holistic approach to menopause has emerged. Women’s health is so much more than just a linear study of the female body, it’s an intricate system that includes the whole woman—body, mind, and spirit. Menopause is a turning point that brings not only physical symptoms but also emotional, psychological, and spiritual changes.
For many women, like myself, the non-physical aspects have posed the most significant challenges. Initially, I underestimated the impact of menopause on my life due to the mild physical symptoms I was experiencing.
As I delved into the research, read books, and listened to women’s stories—the personal experiences they had with menopause—I realized that it was affecting me more profoundly than I had realized. I was wrestling with a loss of mojo, how I navigated the world around me—relationships, business, finances.
I felt lost, impotent, and powerless. I started second guessing myself, doubting my feelings—my confidence took a nose dive. All of this was erupting while my body was showing signs of aging. Younger people started addressing me as ma’am. I would pass my reflection unawares and see an older woman instead of the mental picture I had of a much younger me. Feelings of resentment from the past, frustration with myself, regret. I was revisiting issues that I thought had been resolved long ago.
Prior to menopause I seldom stressed about anything. I was so confident in my ability to ‘make it happen’ with whatever I aspired to do. In hindsight, that ‘make it happen’ approach was one with a predominately masculine tone to it. What I’ve learned is how much more effective I can be when I listen and allow, versus forcing what I want into form. Sure, I did force it for a long time and I produced successful outcomes in the short run. In the long run however, I have found receptivity to be much more in alignment with the final product I seek, which is fulfillment and satisfaction along the way, not just focusing on the end result I am after.
The Body Speaks: Rediscovering Purpose
While menopause brought unexpected challenges for me, it also unveiled hidden strengths. Rediscovering purpose became a transformative journey for me, transcending the physical and delving into the depths of self-discovery.
Despite feelings of being hijacked into the underworld, something profound was awakening within me. Over time, I reconnected with a part of myself I had long forgotten from my pre-adolescent years.
This journey of self-discovery has led me to embrace an inner strength that I thought had left me long ago. I am now more comfortable in my own skin, with a renewed determination to fulfill on the aspirations I had set aside from decades past. Marriage, raising a family, running a business – life’s demands led me elsewhere.
Today I recognize the enormous gift that those demands bestowed upon me. I took my primary focus off myself and instead placed it squarely on being in service to others. That’s the “secret sauce” of self discovery . . . being in service to a much greater purpose than ourselves alone. And if that purpose is true, what we receive can be what we were seeking all along.
“How I feel about myself today, what I believe is possible for me, is a spiritual maturity springing forth from a dark reckoning.”
A Shift Towards Wholeness: The Power of Meditation
Throughout my menopausal experience I’ve practiced daily meditation. I recommend this practice to anyone, but when we are going through a challenging time it can be especially therapeutic. Not only are we inviting receptivity through quieting the mind, but we are also practicing rhythmic breathing. If you are suffering from menopausal symptoms at whatever level—physical, emotional, mood swings, and beyond—being aware of your breath and focusing on it, even for just a couple minutes at a time, can produce a wonderful shift that changes the direction of your day.
“Release the past. Let go of what no longer serves this awakened life.”
Through the menopausal fire I’ve found a wiser voice at my center. One that speaks to me with kindness, patience, and love. The voice of self condemnation that I believed to be the truth for me, kept me stuck in old patterns and programming. Today this voice no longer has the power to derail me as it once did. I’ve awakened to many of these old patterns and beliefs about myself. As I recognize them, I forgive myself for ever having believed them in the first place, returning them to the nothingness from where they came.
Menopause can transform us if we let it. It’s vital that we listen to that inner stillness and validate what we hear. Embracing the changes that come with menopause can lead us towards a depth of knowledge that is capable of impacting our self image—do we see an aging woman, or the beauty of wisdom and experience reflected from inner glow—offering us clarity of mind, and instilling courage in our decision making . . . all of which is a recipe for creating outcomes we might have never thought possible for ourselves.
As we navigate this transitional period we are invited to rediscover and embrace a powerful presence that has been speaking to us throughout our lives, patiently waiting to be heard, but we were unable to meet it from where we were.
Through the menopausal fire we can emerge transformed, whole and complete, as we have always been, but had not realized until now. What new possibilities and transformations are awaiting you in this moment, and how can you embrace this profound transition with grace and authenticity?
Here’s to the awakened life!
